I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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