don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize