I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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