He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize