Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize