She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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