ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
