I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
