then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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