you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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