Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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