Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
