Swine flu. Run for my life!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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