so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
