ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
