You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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