dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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