First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
