i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize