where am i from again
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Ketchup is God's man juice
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
