I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
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then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
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FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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