I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
