I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
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