i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
