I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
