HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
