hotel room ftw
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
