I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
