just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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