Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
