That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
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DIN'T JUSGE NE.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize