She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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