it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
COCAINE IS GR8
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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