i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
