I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
