at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
