Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
