i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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