The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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