You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
