So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
