looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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