me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
