I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
