we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
