i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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