That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
