Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just blew my weed a kiss
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
