i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i now understand why vodka
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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