If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
