Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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