What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
