im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We are all done wearing pants today
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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