I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
