ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
