we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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