Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
